October 16, 2020

Since the Republican Party declined to publish a party platform outlining their policies after their convention this year, other than essentially, “Whatever Trump wants,” I figured that must be a preview of things to come.  Given Trump’s track record on living within the Constitution and the ‘Rule of Law’ I expect that he has a completely different interpretation of the Bill of Rights than most of the rest of us.  Below is my best guess as to Trump’s (and his toadies’) interpretation of the Bill of Rights that will become even more enshrined if Trump wins a second term. 

1. Amendment 1: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances” unless such people oppose or criticize the President in which case the President shall be entitled to use all available means to silence them.

• Amendment 2: “A well-regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed”, as long as such Militias support the President.  The NRA shall be the final arbiter in all firearm disputes.

• Amendment 3:  “No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war but in a manner to be prescribed by law” with the exception that all government and foreign visitors shall be quartered at properties owned by the President at prevailing market rates.

• Amendment 4: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things with to be seized.  In addition, the entire Executive Branch of the government is immune from any and all subpoenas for testimony or documents.

• Amendment 5:  “No person shall be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation.”  Further, nothing the President (or his family) says or does can ever be held against him or be the cause of any legal action during his lifetime

• Amendment 6: “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor; and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.”  However, the President shall, with the complete support of the Department of Justice, have the right to exercise the entire judicial system at tax payer expesne in order to delay any and all legal actions he chooses.

• Amendment 7: “In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States than according to the rules of the common law,” with the exception of the President, in which case, no President can be subject to any suit or legal action during their lifetimes.

• Amendment 8: “Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted,” except in the case of those persons deemed ‘enemies’ of the President in which case the Department of Justice shall hound, prosecute and harass all such individuals.

• Amendment 9: “The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people,” except in cases where the President shall deem that such rights are a threat to him in which case, he will have the sole authority to suspend such rights.

1. Amendment 10: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people. except in cases where the President shall deem that such rights are a threat to him in which case, he will have the sole authority to suspend such rights.

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